Meeting My Emotions
I started this journey because I want to raise a true daughter of this earth, here to create and bring her own light and magic to the world, but it almost feels as if I’m raising myself. Reprogramming the generations of fears and misguided ways has been a difficult yet completely eye opening experience. In all ways my daughter is the one leading me into the future, being a mirror to everything I need to work on within myself and guiding me to what the new earth will be. The expression of her emotions is so true and raw, it declares to the world what she needs and her many likes and dislikes. Our emotions are our true guidance systems, needing to be honored and heard whether they come from our children or from within ourselves.
Beginning to pause and really listen to my emotions has been an incredibly healing and essential part of this journey for me. It’s as if I’m meeting my true self again and my life has begun to flow with ease and grace with my intuition more clear than ever. Flowing with ease and grace has not meant I do not continue to feel anxiety or fear, but these emotions no longer take over causing chaos and distress or are allowed to fester and re-present themselves as a trigger because I’m ignoring them, no, I sit with them, invite them to join me for tea while I listen to what they want to say. It may sound incredibly strange to have a conversation with an emotion, but try it and you’ll see.
When a strong emotion comes up, simply saying “I’m feeling ….” immediately puts me in control as the observer of the emotional world within. As the observer I have no judgement towards any emotions because feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or jealous is all part of the human experience and its okay to feel everything, but getting curious about why I’m feeling each emotion is where the magic happens. By asking why, I allow the emotion to say its piece and sometimes this can reveal great insights or sometimes it allows me to realize I’m feeling a certain way because of past conditioning, from family or society, and this allows me to recognize and release these old ways of thinking. Sometimes theres no answer at all, and I’m learning to accept that too. Usually when there is no clear answer I ask for guidance and further understanding and release it from my mind, trusting the universe and its timing that the answers will come when I’m ready.
But I’m not going to hear any answers by watching netflix or allowing my thoughts to hijack my brain so bringing mindfulness to my days has been another valuable part of my journey. Mindfulness to me has been allowing myself to become fully immersed in every moment. Feeling my breath fill up my lungs, noticing the light make rainbows on plant leaves or the kitchen floor, connecting to what I’m doing, the things I’m touching, and if I catch my mind starting to wonder into meaningless thoughts I notice it, allow it, then watch the thoughts float away like clouds bringing myself back to my breath, back to the moment. When I’m truly living mindfully I can feel it, in every atom of my vibration, I’m in the flow, connected to a source energy full of creativity and insight. Its not an easy thing to maintain but the more I practice and the more I’m in it the easier it becomes. This is also something I do for my daughter, lead by example so she will continue to feel into the flow and trust her own journey of life as I trust mine.